Heaviness and Silence

A dark so deep, it is like a shell
Enclosing me within my skin’s depth
Blinding my eyes just as well
But breathing, still not death

A stillness that brings no sound
A silent fullness fills my ear
No footsteps upon the ground
Only my breathing do I hear

Even my skin feels the moist air wet
Touching every pore with dampness
Moisture filled droplets of sweat
I shiver with the cold clamminess

It is quiet this trickle of rain
Something inside not to be shown
A sobbing loss I have felt again
Chilling thoughts of pain I’ve known

Barbara Blackcinder

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Kilmer Replanted


I think that when I view a tree

Lovely as a poem I surely see


A tree whose gorgeous loft is seen

Who gives Earth its leafy sheen


A tree whose beauty we see all day

Holds its arms out for you and me


A tree that shades us on summer days

With rustling leaves in an autumn haze


Heavily laden with snow and frost

With none of its beauty ever lost


Poems are written to show a tree

Growing solely to impress me


Barbara Blackcinder

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Workin’ For A Livin’

Workin’ workin’, working through the day
Workin’ workin’ hoping to get that pay
Scrubbin’ until my fingernails are in pain
Dreading tomorrow, to start all over again

Workin’ workin’ mindlessly scrubbing all day
Workin’ workin’ it is just another day
Puttin’ in hours ’til the boss says okay
Go home now, we’ll see you next day

Working until I think that I’ll drop
But I can’t, there’s no pay if I stop
So I continue to rub and to scrub
Polish the dishes, the tables and the tub

One of these days I will be able to relax
No more of the back and shoulder attacks
I’ll sit in my chair and give the commands
Having someone else listening to my demands

But until I do it’s a sure thing for me
Where it is tomorrow, that you will see
Workin’ workin’, scrubbing in pain
Workin’ workin’ and here I’ll remain

Barbara Blackcinder

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A Friend, Simply


As a friend you have much better insight

You ask a lot of me, but it is what I requested

You would like the mystery of my light

But such honesty has been mostly arrested


I have been hiding the truth for so very long

From everyone including myself

A continuous and self-defeating song


I don’t wish to deny you with my defenses

I could easily tear down my walls of fear

It could be done with a few remaining pretenses

Simply a massive shifting of a selfish gear


Only I know the flames and crackling that are heard

It isn’t something that I benefitted from

I suffer the most from the lack of a word


It would be to my good to end my hesitations

And if I give you open access to my thoughts

Crashing my own gates to give you visitations

Break down the walls that I have wrought


Yet it’s so hard to deny a life’s maze

Yield to the common without hesitation

To fix the error of a life in a haze


Barbara Blackcinder

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They Were Born

“So the decision has been made?”

“Yes, just as we expected. It was nearly unanimous by the time they calculated out the consequences. I guess it’s pretty much like all of the others.” She toyed with a Petrie dish, sliding it around on the top of the laboratory counter. “I guess this will be the end of the study also. There isn’t much of a point if WE’VE decided to leave it alone.”

He looked at her sadly, putting his hand on the back of her shoulder. He hadn’t forgotten the effect that it would have on him also. The end of the study would mean that everyone would be splitting up in all directions, onto other planets, maybe even someday, other galaxies. But mostly he would be separating from her. It would be unlikely that they would end up in the same research study once again. These long years had bound them together, and it would be hard to separate now.

“I’m clueless about where exactly I’ll be heading.” He blurted out, unable to say what he meant, and unable to even finish his sentence.

Eve turned quickly, instantly aware of what he was feeling. She knew, because she had those same regrets building inside of her. It was terrible to be split up after so many intense experiences in the labs, on field studies together.

“I know, I know.” She held the hand that had dropped from her shoulder. She squeezed it slightly, his face lifted to hers. The tear forming in each of their eyes was an inevitable as the smiles they passed to each other.

“It’s their fault.” He suggested suddenly. “Why couldn’t they have been better at developing than they were?” he asked himself. “The further along they would have been, the more there would have been to study, and the longer this research team would have had to study them to find out just how far they had developed.” He just sighed after saying this quietly, knowing that she felt all of this just as painfully as he did.

“They gotten quite far in a few million years.” She said, making an effort to give them a positive perspective. “From a single germ or two in the middle of one land mass, they managed to spread across the entire surface with only two exceptions. And even that isn’t quite true.” he corrected himself, “They have tried spreading out in those directions, but never really got much of a colony to rise.”

“True.” He answered, “There is a lot of other things growing on this planet that were better than they were at expansion and colonization. Some of them are pretty small, but managed to travel great distances without any kind of transportation system, just incremental stages with a few leaps and bounds of development here and there.”

“Some of the species are remarkable, having lived at all in the harshest environments to their biological systems.” She went back to playing with the dish on the counter, sticking a finger inside of the edge and spinning it around her finger. It made a scratchy, plastic sound, even on the smooth surface of the table.

“But of course, we aren’t studying those, as fascinating as they are.” His eyes drawn to the noise she was making with her finger and the dish. “Their biodiversity is quite wide, but not so interesting, or having the potential as that of a larger species.” He corrected himself immediately, “I mean, widely developed, compared to some much larger mammals that we found here.”

Suddenly emotion overtook him. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. His jaw clenched tightly, but he fought it off and forced himself to speak the words that might radically alter both their lives.

“Eve. We could put in for a special study, to remain here and perhaps find out more, even if it wasn’t essential to the overall study of life across this galaxy. Surely they can see that each species is remarkable even if they haven’t achieved planetary expansion?” he asked many questions, but hoped she would weed out the one he was really asking.

Her jaw dropped slightly, but then tightened again as the seconds passed by. She looked up into his eyes, seeing the desperation in them, and the longing as well.

“Do you think they might let us stay and develop our own colony? Right here?” her questions themselves were largely ignored except for the fact that she was contemplating what he had asked her. She turned away, fearing that his answer wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear.

“Of course, we would have to take very strict compliance vow to assure our non-interference.” She spoke without turning back to him. They both knew that such contracts could even include being whisked back to their planet without a moment’s notice, or to opposite ends of the galaxy never to hear from each other again, not even in the several hundred years remaining of their lifetimes.

They both turned simultaneously, facing each other, then stepping into each other’s arms. “But it would be worth it” he spoke first. “And I think we could do it anyway. They kissed and groped as only two of their species could do with their adaptable bodies. It was the best they could do to simulate the actions of the Human species that they studied. They were in their laboratory after all, and might remain there for hundreds of years, if they were lucky.

Barbara Blackcinder

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Dog Heart Park

I took my dog to the park today
All he wanted to do was play, play, play
Just so happy to run in the mud
Not caring that he was full of crud
Not that I was perturbed at his having fun
He was living now and the moment was won
He didn’t care about the bath he would take
It was purely fun just for fun’s sake
And if tomorrow I brought him here again
Not for a second would he think to refrain
He would jump for joy and splash in the lake
Taking pleasure strictly for pleasure’s sake

Barbara Blackcinder

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A Dog’s Life

“Just throw the ball”
He seems to say
There is nothing else to do
But to enjoy and to play

Sometimes he digs in my garden
Making everything a mess
But as he was doing it
He couldn’t have cared less

For it was fun
Consequences out of mind
That burrowing worm
He just HAD to find

Later he was saddened
By his misdeed
By the look on my face
Mischief he would concede

Yet after a moment
Or maybe a day
Those thoughts of sadness
Would drift away

It was not to be forgotten
He would learn where not to dig
A lesson now learned
But not one eternally big

Now he was a better dog
One with more knowledge and skill
To live through with more happiness
More good times to fulfill.

Barbara Blackcinder

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