Picture This

You say that I have some attributes
Some qualities that you admire
But I don’t see what you see in me
I don’t find in me that same fire

You say that I am what you like
The way I am is good for you
But I don’t see the same things at all
I can’t see it the way that you do

Okay I admit that yours is a better view
I can’t see through my veil of doubt
But you don’t know the fears in me
How I see through pain enough to shout

Okay I can see that you must be right
I can’t deny that you see what I don’t
My blindness is a protection of me
I might be well to try but I know I won’t

So let it be that we must disagree
We have different colors in our eyes
I can’t see what you do in your hue
To deny myself would be truly wise

So I let you guide me with your care
I know that I must not see straight
Still I harbor thoughts I can’t suppress
And shelter myself with a wall of hate

Barbara Blackcinder

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A Misty Figure

Just when I thought you understood
The complexities of my inner self
You make a comment so very defining
And put me back on a crooked shelf

Just when my happiness was reaching upward
And I giggled just to think you were there
Besides me in my complexities and worries
You spoke and blew it all into the air

I can’t fault you for believing what you do
I can’t speak for the life that you’ve had
Yet somehow I had great hopes for us
But instead it has all turned very sad

Well, I will try to put my dreaming in line
And continue to accept who you are
But I must admit that knowing the truth
That we can never continue very far

Acceptance is good for either of us now
Bending to allow for differences and pain
I have my ways and you must be you
It seems that together there isn’t a gain

The wisp of departure drifted between us
I thought I could see clearly through
But instead it was a wishful impression
A mist that was hiding between me and you

Barbara Blackcinder

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The Windmill

Is it a windmill without any wind,
Or a gear without the connecting cogs
Is it just spinning, this writing effort
Just another series of endless blogs

I feel a wind blowing at my back
Still pushing me forward in time
Regardless of many missing links
The absence of meaningful rhymes

I talk into the wind blowing in my face
Informing no one with my concern
It’s not that I think I have special knowledge
Perhaps it is I that has yet to learn

Spending my remaining time quite uselessly
Still hoping for a change in the breeze
Maybe it’s to get the wheels turning again
Ending the stagnation and eventual freeze

Barbara Blackcinder

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Liars, Liars, Everyone

The good book sayeth that, least we judge
Before we comment and silently shrug
We should give the time to budge
For a little introspective hug
To see inside when we have been wrong
When our lies we dishonestly dug

Remembering when we were in error
Stumbling to make ourselves believe
Knowing the truth, and in terror
Fighting so that others wouldn’t perceive
That we are the deceitful bearer
Of the many times we have deceived

And in the light of that awareness
Any judgment that we may bestow
May be tempered by selfishness
And lighten our own very heavy load
To see through eyes with gentleness
Before we proclaim another a toad

Barbara Blackcinder

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I used to believe in fate, how good it could really be
But life also has in it hate, and so it was not so good to me
We started life in synch, paired for winning it all
Heaven made I used to think, but life began to fall
Doubt entered the stage, causing turmoil and mistrust
We became two in rage, wondered where our love went bust
Of course it was determined, we could not remain in denials
We blew apart with heated words, sending our thoughts into trials
Without the love left only fear, troubled thoughts always so near
The clamor was all we could hear, and we were finished, out of gear
So the truth of fate it was clear to see, it was inside of us
There was nothing more for you and me, but a small trifle of lust
Still attracted to one another, but not more than our fate
Honesty just couldn’t smother, and it hadn’t long to wait
For the drift became a chasm, our lives separated completely now
No more flowing momentum, just a trail that fate would allow

Barbara Blackcinder

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Moments with Gaps

I spent my life from one time to another
With necessary events in between
There were the times I cried because I was alone
Until it was time to go home once again

I found some friends and I played with them
And sat alone afterward, wondering if it had been true
I sit by myself waiting for someone to appear
But the drizzle was the only thing due

I remember being alone here and there
Sitting here, sitting there, walking by
I was alone all these times, seldom escorted
I remember them more than any fun between them

I’ve looked over many railings, wondering if…
The wind blew in my face while on a roof
I dared not stray too close to the edge of it
I threatened but dared not lean too far over

It might have been fear, or just depression
Or just not caring enough to jump over
I’m still here, and glad that I am
But I’m alone, as I’ve always been

Barbara Blackcinder

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Passed On

The day has passed, as many have
Time wasted and ignored
Potential wasted, thrown away
Not even a memory stored

At the time, it was too hard
To wake myself up for a change
So I sat, not content just bored
Any task, was too far out of range

So I sit empty now, with only regret
That nothing was done that day
Filled with sadness, knowing I let
pass a future with something to say

Days still go by, too many I see
Nothing gained, and something missed
The only work required for me?
To start the future with a better list

Barbara Blackcinder

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