Driving Blind

I took my favorite vehicle out today
Just to have a little ride in the light
But heaven decreed that it wouldn’t be
And I was quickly filled with fright

As I got into the seat with eyes opening
Ready to traverse down the road
I realized that I not at all alone
I was carrying quite a heavy load

Mud was plastered across the windows
And clogging the vents all around
The only thing I was quite sure of
Was that the vehicle sat on the ground

Then I realized that this wasn’t my option
That I had been given it for faith without doubt
Forced to remain sitting while uncomfortable
By some people with way too much clout

Then I thought that I felt a little motion
I was unsure but persuaded by it too
Slowly I felt it building to a rumble
And then finally convinced it was true

I avoided putting on my seatbelt
Not wanting to show a confidence lack
But with delusions of fear all around me
I felt that I should be sitting in the back

I squirmed as sat in my car’s pew
Feeling but not seeing outside where
Chaos and jeopardy I was told
Would sacrifice me if I were there

So I traveled along with the brethren
Somewhat cozy as we sat hand in hand
Bouncing and jostling through mysteries
Troubled by our venture across land

Yet I was consoled by thoughts of royalty
Sitting above us to guide our vehicle’s path
While constantly enforcing his petty logic
Daring us to challenge the might of his wrath

But a crack appeared in the window
The mud was slipping as it dried
Before long the sun was hitting me
And I could see no logical place to hide

I dove to the bottom of the seats then
Where the knees of my travelers shook
But holding steadily on shivering thighs
Was the source of everything book

I wished that its pages would fall out
Opening my eyes yet one more time
When the mud of self-denial and shame
Could once again make me feel sublime

Although I looked up to the pages
But saw only a rich leather cover
With a tiny blood spattered image
Where it had once struck a brother

His sin was to be openly denying
The teaching of the book’s façade
By living in sin with another
His temptation flirting with the rod

His muck had already fallen
He couldn’t avoid what he felt
No more than he could choose his birth
In the heart of the Bible belt

So condemned, he made his only choice
Up to him to define it as he went along
That book was heavy with no redemption
No matter how hard or sincere was his song

I glimpsed out quickly as we rode by him
A crack in the mud allowing a view of his shine
It was impressive and somewhat uplifting
I was quickly filled with the thought of divine

But his light wasn’t shining from the sky
Casting dark shadows across his eyes
His glow was now happiness and glee
No longer forced to be hiding his lies

I passed in wonder of his achievement
But its attainment was beyond my reach
I yearned for some real understanding
But only the bible would they teach

I began getting tired of such driving
Endlessly searching for what couldn’t be
The sliding mud revealing something new
Perhaps a new direction or route to see

I began squinting my eyes to the sunlight
The glow of knowledge filling my mind
Soon I was looking at nature’s fullness
Without a descending creator to find

There was no deific hand upon it
No intelligent design making plans
Just the difficult route of evolution
Spreading beauty across its lands

Then the remaining mud cracked and fell
Disappearing into a large cloud of dust
But clarity was suddenly awe-inspiring
A vision appeared that was truly just

My fear was no longer a deadly concern
Suddenly I felt as though life was supreme
Enjoying the time my parents gave me
Causing my spirit and new outlook to beam

The mud had turned into an irritation
Flecks of minute dust blowing in my face
Hampering clear thinking and driving
Clinging to some with a sticky trace

And so I continue to do my traveling
Blowing my horn loudly with many efforts
Cleaning my windshield continuously
While the mud obscures and distorts

Finally after years of driving without real sight
Blinded to all but the hood of what I was taught
The release to me was quite mystifying
Time so long before knowing that it was for naught.

Barbara Blackcinder

About Barbara Blackcinder

I am a poet/writer with a hunger for words. There are so many out there that I haven't used yet. They define all reality and especially mine when you read those from me.
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