Grains of Sand

It’s tough to be a grain of sand

Awash in the sea of space

But worse yet is to be a grain

That really has no face

 

I don’t speak of having a global presence

One known to others afar

To stretches of Earth quite distant

Unreachable by train or car

 

It’s not so bad to be unknown there

When there is millions of people between

It’s hard to standout in the middle of a crowd

To do something not extraordinarily seen

 

But far worse is to be overlooked

When you stand next to someone near

When you lifelong hope or prayer

Is simply to catch someone’s ear

 

To be ignored  and never raise an eyebrow

Because you stand outside of the crowd

Never able to raise the passion

To scream your presence out loud

 

To fade into the darkness of obscurity

Despite numerous but quiet jumps

Just always too unsure of oneself

To wear spikes instead of flats or pumps

 

Only you realized your worth

In the cosmic scheme of things

Only you have come to realize

That you never will grow wings

 

That you won’t fly up and impress someone

With knowledge or even a good giggle

Your words fall flat and lay limply spoken

Their lifespan just short of a wiggle

 

Always off by a minute or an instant

Your timing was never too strong

And somewhere in the middle of speaking

The words have already turned wrong

 

Yet you have friends that have known you forever

And cradle you in your fears

Knowing the words of sympathy

To shield you from further tears

 

They know your fears though not like you

That is an impossible chance

They only have an exterior view

While your inside look severs like a lance

 

It is always like that for you

It has been forever that you have known

Since awareness sprang upon you

Only a few years of having grown

 

Why was it so that you looked deep inside

And found only one person in there

When outside others gathered around

Who never suffered such childish despair

 

How is so that one feels alone

Inside and outside so clear

Seeking voices of calm outside

While inside you fill with fear

 

So little unknown at an early age

How could it be fearful if not pain

Struck with infantile paranoia

Enough to drive a mind insane

 

Surely blame cannot be had

For parents who had no shame

Somehow there was no fail without

But only an interior cause to blame

 

So what does one do in the long run

Living a life quite filled with pain

Always there in the background

The truth of what is truly to blame

 

That inner sense of hatred

Or perhaps fear of one’s own self

To bear with the suffering

And to put it out of sight on a shelf

 

Go on go on and obscure the effect

Of grinding one’s nose in selfish spite

Hope through dreams of pleasantry

That they will fade with the night

 

Take cheer in little accomplishments

Of which only you will likely be aware

Store them up for bigger dreams

As you lie in another night’s stare

 

It’s dreaming that saves you time after time

While prayer is only hopeful at best

Your own thoughts have the only key

To put the worse at rest

 

Yet in it’s infinite storage capacity

Some things at best only withdraw

Shoved into the corner recesses

Things we thought that we saw

 

And in grandiose hopes of exaltation

Those never fail to appear also

The dreams of eternal happiness

Lie deep within our souls

 

The spirit of never giving in

Although usually a determined effort

To show the strength from within

Becomes a saving mental port

 

A hill that’s raised to conflict the grief

Of solitude and self-inflicted denial

A smothering surrounding of the pain

While sidestepping weary miles.

 

Still a grain of sand in the universe

No matter what anyone knows

Just one of billions of billions

Too tiny to really show.

 

Barbara Blackcinder

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About Barbara Blackcinder

I write mostly for my own joy and release unfortunately, while hoping that it is enjoyable to others. I thank my followers very much and hope I continue to write interesting pieces for them.
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2 Responses to Grains of Sand

  1. Thank you very very much. Barbara

  2. FreeRangeCow says:

    Just pure excellence, Barbara!

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