NaPoWriMo 30B – Hidden Grey Shades

Black and White, black and white, and ample shades of grey.

I don’t know what you expected, but I turned out this way

Started in one direction, looking towards the other side

But since no one else had this problem, it was something just to hide.


And so my life goes on, with no clues to read, no comfort for my sins

I struggle with my ineptitudes, somehow I just can’t win

I have the body to compete in sports, yet never quite succeed

While others made real progress, I simply seem to bleed


There’s no message, there’s no clue, coming from my peers

When I fail the sport’s team, I’m only met with sneers.

How can I be so unbalanced, how can I be so lame

I struggle to hold up, with those that seem the same


It’s just inside this skin-lined cast that has a different blend

And no matter how I translate, the brain continues to send

Messages that I shouldn’t receive,  or that I should not grip

But through the confused mixture, both messages do slip


So by the year I carry on, thinking I’m just inept

While through my entire childhood, I have quietly miss stepped

I had dreams and I had plans, I always came up wrong

Too lost to find my way through  it, childhood was so long


And today I find some answers, but as usual too late

The years have long since passed me, standing there at the gate

All the world’s old horses, have circled around the track

So many awful memories, years that won’t come back


Perhaps it would have been simple, if I had gotten a clue

From family members, or friends of mine, or maybe even you

But the biggest chance was always, similarly unknown

From everyone around me, the truth was never shown


I was just another child, one who just never did quite fit

Who must only say they’re lucky, that they never chose to quit.


Barbara Blackcinder


About Barbara Blackcinder

I am a poet/writer with a need for words. There are so many out there that I haven't used yet. They define all reality and mine when you read those from me.
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2 Responses to NaPoWriMo 30B – Hidden Grey Shades

  1. Yes, Barb, never quit—better to wear out than rust out 🙂

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