Aberrations

We all have dreams it seems
We all have dreams and schemes
But so little comes of them for me
Mostly just hopeless little gleams

With hopes and prayers we venture forth
Through a life that proves quite tough
The best hope of getting through them
Is to never to say you’ve had enough

For who can live without plans and ideas
But far from ideals they must be true
Just forecasts on the way it should be
Yet holding back from being led by you

One might go from dream to dream
Like a monkey swinging through life
Or having a long term focused guide
Eliminating most evil and strife

However you do it I cannot align
myself to a plan that works
Caught in endless distractions
I always seem to be caught in a quirk

An aberration is more like my life
Always a step out of tune with the rest
Trying hopelessly to follow it all
Never even dreaming of a crest

So I sit in my moderate comfort
A chair handed down from my kin
Knowing that it is the only place
Where I will ever truly fit in.

Barbara Blackcinder

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Out of Step With Religion

I came here to die, it doesn’t matter where I am
It is simply that I will die once I began
I have no future plans past the end of my days
That’s just a distorted, out of date, biblical phase
To believe I will exist past my own cessation
There is no proof in any religious creation

I will simply fold my arms and die
Seeing bright lights will not cause me to try
Reaching out for a synapse triggering in my brain
Pure rationality tells me that would be insane
My body will have given up its signs of life
And finally, ultimately, I will be free of strife.

Barbara Blackcinder

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Herman

Some of the children, while playing with him at school
Didn’t like Herman, for they said he was a fool
It wasn’t so much true that he really was one
But to ridicule him was just so much more fun
Herman had bested them, he beat them at a game
And now the little children couldn’t be the same
For they had learned to know that pride was everything
So they vowed that forever they would always sting
They would beat and pinch him if he was close or near
No matter how good Herman, they would make him fear

And so it came to be an election day
They had to vote on Herman, surely ’No Way!’
But the other rooms there had a different thought
And their plan of hatred wasn’t to be wrought
With every effort that they put to the task
Their own agenda they couldn’t freely pass
Their hatred grew and they tried by yelling loud
To coerce and dictate to the larger crowd
Meanness and wrath was all they had to offer
Just empty and hollow, this vengeful coffer

The only reason was that when they were kids
Acting up from selfishness was what they did
It was sad to see that they never did grow
Their county was made to suffer greatly so
Their stubborn foolishness and their childhood ways
Followed them much later in their acts today
Once they had seen that they couldn’t have it all
And getting so angry, to threaten the hall
Never to claim revenge by it’s proper name
Writhing with anger, they carried on the same

So vengeful their effort to ridicule the man
The honest speaking statesman never got to stand
Built on hatred and causing it to be so weak
To begin without them was all that they could seek
But it was not to be with their hatreds so fierce
An evil fronted face that they could barely pierce
Only weaker parties could sneak in past the start
Playing just servile roles and less important parts
Collapse was undoubtable with such rhetoric
With minds so closed, and opinions baselessly strict

Yet Herman still won in every fair and legal way
But still their ire just rose and they hate him to this day
“How dare he besmirch their more important sounding views”
And never would they ever accept the honest news
So they continued to grouse and to poison the wells
Not in the least concerned about the funeral bells
Wrought by those who just couldn’t accept the change
Yelling over them no matter what their range
But the world went on without their ‘better view’
And I hope the same some day for me and you.

Barbara Blackcinder

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Religious Intensity

Today I spied a map of the world,
it’s countries in shades of green.
It was called religious intensity,
I looked closer to see what they mean.
The darker colors were intense with religion,
the lighter greens not so much.
I was glad to see that the larger countries,
had a green of the lighter touch.
So considering how holiness and faith,
are more dangerous than apathy,
I thought it a good idea for the world,
to lessen their intensity.

Barbara Blackcinder

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Compulsion

I saw but a silvery glimpse of her gliding through the crowd of people. I didn’t have a reason to follow her, nor did I even want to for any particular reason. Yet, my feet moved, and I was guided through the same groups of people, allowing them to move aside, just as they had for her, although they hadn’t actually looked her way. I looked at the people as I passed them, but they did not see me either. Their heads were turned towards each other, engaged in conversations that had nothing to do with me, as they also had nothing to do with me either, aside from moving side for a shadow, to allow my passage.

I was led to the stairs, each step easily taken and lifting me up towards the upper floor. I looked at the reds and yellows of the carpet, it’s intricate design woven as carefully as if it had been pulled together by angels or gods. I stepped higher, without a thought of why I was absentmindedly counting stairs, and lacking an image of her presence before me. Yet I knew that she was there, coaxing me, guiding me into an unknown area.

I turned, walking past the railing that overlooked the ballroom, the smoothly polished wood sliding beneath my hand as I looked down at the people below. Their eyes neither glanced up at me, nor tried to steal sidelong glances to watch me as I moved along the rail, and into a hallway that was concealed from below.

The carpeting and it’s endless pattern continued ahead of me and around me, taking up every inch of the floor from the bottom of the stairs. My eyes followed a band of yellow that thickened, then narrowed as it danced into curls and leafs of golden intricacies, all the while continuing down the hall.

The light faded as I moved away from the ballroom lighting, my own shadow expanding as I walked from the light. The electric illumination disappeared around the corner, but still kept the hallway lightened as it reflected off of the dark but shiny wallpaper on the walls, and off the edges of the varnished woods of the chair rails, the floor molding and the corner moldings above my head.

I could easily see where I was going as the sounds of the party also dimmed with the lighting. I seemed to be fading into the hallway as I darkened along with everything else and I became more and more invisible. The end of the hall loomed ahead. I stopped at its end.

Doors on either side were dark and impressive in their heavily shadowed wooden panels and frames, holding me out from the interior spaces behind them. I saw them before me as sentries, even with their brass handles catching the little light from the tiny lights in sconces in the walls.

But I had lost the feeling of compulsion to seek, no unknown emotion directed me to open either one of them. The feeling to pursue, that of being called forward that had already led me here had disappeared. It was gone, and my head cleared to a state of wonder, questioning why I was up here in the private areas of someone’s home.

The beaconing whisper of a woman in the ballroom still echoed through my mind, the feeling of her leading me onward, softly and gently. But I wondered why I had followed it, why I had been so compelled to move without question. It wasn’t any kind of force, any sort of demand, yet I moved as if I had wanted to go somewhere, and without the slightest thought of not doing it.

I returned to the stairway and moved down it’s silent steps as the fog cleared slightly. The people on the farthest side of the room below caught my movement and looked up to watch me descend. As I moved to their floor, those closest to the stairs also greeted me with smiles and quickly moved aside to allow my passage. I smiled back, and went along the cleared path to where I had been standing a few moments ago.

Already I had lost the feeling of compulsion that had lifted me along. It drifted away from my thoughts, and the conversations around me enveloped me once again.

Barbara Blackcinder

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The Stars Almighty

I reside in the midst of thousands and millions
Of stars and planets and moons
And stare at a single illumination of one
With little hope of understanding them soon

With a twist of my neck I see that I am surrounded
While many escape my vision and view
And in the middle of the day when they all fade away
It’s what the light of our singular sun will do

But worse than this temporary blindness
A short vision that changes by day
Is the wish for non-science believers
That causes it always to be held at bay

So that their belief in a deity is unencumbered
By thinking that excludes simple math
Hiding behind the shelter and bliss of ignorance
Not to provoke their Godly wraith

Who we owe our existence we must surely know
Not plainly to a God who gives us no word
But rather a fluke of natural causes
Not something that someone else heard

So take your fingers out of your ears
Stop filling them with repetitive cadences
Stop saying “Da da da da” to fill your head
Just because the Bronze Age so says….

Barbara Blackcinder

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Level Flight

Walking across a stone plaza
Crunching the gravel under my feet
Knowing that you are the only one
But the one that I won’t meet
An empty floor once full of life
Spun away at the drop of a name
A word not of any importance
That changed the sweep of the game

Was that a sound of a voice that I knew
Covered by a shoe stepping down on dirt
A heavenly sound that could only be you
But never to hear through the hurt
It’s only a change but I can’t turn back
To face a field with no one looking out
Just a plaza crumbled and weary
It’s fate also to collapse without doubt

The ground seems to crack with every step
Crevasses splitting wider, the distance a leap
Making recurrence impossibly hard
A return to something we couldn’t keep
The void is expanding and filling with space
Without a bridge to step across
So I fear to turn to catch a glimpse of your face
A valley now too deep, full of loss

Stepping quickly on crumbling rock
Tripping on fate with stumbling feet
With tears of blindness obscuring my sight
Forever to pass and never again to meet
It was just a fluke of painful history
Grinding dust in our mouths and eyes
A shiny cloud no longer blowing with wind
Tempting our souls with unreachable lies

Barbara Blackcinder

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